Never the same anymore..

Saw my friends have their life have different path with me.. Kinda jealous of them.. I can see the happiness in all of ur eyes although the path is hard..
Me? I feel the gap between us is more far and far.. Topic isn't the same anymore although sometime meet up.. Things changes.. I wasn't the same world with u guys anymore.. Kinda sad with it.. But it's ok. I have my life and I shud be in it. I can feel the gap.. The gap with most of my friends... Mayb is my problems.. I dunno why. Last time with u guys I feel like don't wanna be with u guys anymore but now feel jealous of u all.. Last time use to very best friend with a but after couple a was like don't rly find me to share problems n so on.. Haihhh.. All coz of my partner don't like.. It makes me quite sad.. As Friends I wanna n hope to understand u more n share more with u since we are so close n hope to be close as used to be.. The b always complain lots of things to me.. I don't think u appreciate me although I always beside u in facts u just find me when got prob.. After all I just realize I still not as good as u with the other.. I dunno What i was to u? Feel like getting betray by u after some action U did.. I appreciate u I take u as my most best friend n I tot I found the one who understand me.. But I was wrong.. I am still not the one for u.. I feeling myself so stupid n get fool by u.. U know? I kinda know why some best friend became enemy.. Haihhhh... Suan le ba.. I know u suffer but u willing let ur self like this.. So I won't care anymore.. One of my stupid attitude is go care other business which is not my business giving trouble to myself.. Stupid me.. Haiz.. in fact I found back c to be a good caring friends.. Sometimes mayb some action u did may lead to others misunderstanding but u are good hearted person.. Although sometimes u are really stubborn but still sometimes shud listen to ppl... U know? U are good somehow.. Think for others.. Haihhh... I dunno how myself think and what I want.. That's why I put everything everytot in my relationship to ignore all this.. Run away from problems that is not a problems.. Anyway, I knew I wouldn't be same with u all anymore.. So I will try to forget about it.. I keep put effort but u guys never try to make any effort or mayb even a simple call out for eat den forget about it.. Always is me who make the effort.. I feel tired ..