红颜祸水

Was so bz recently.. Finally catching up with jimuiiiisssss n the boys... I ard knew it would happen.. I speechless ard... I don't wanna explain anything... 我越来越受不了... Haven't really be husband and wife ard this way..What a bout If I rly became ur wife? I think I might be just home everyday looking at u looking at the wall.. Only this will make u satisfy make u happy.. 24 hour around you beside u.. I know others ppl gf is like that.. But me no.. Mayb I am just not the type u want.. I cannot do what u wan.. I cannot I am sorry.. This is not me.. U dont love the real me... U just like the fakeness on me.. I can't express on twitter I can't do anything.. The more I be with u the more I see clearer what I want what myself really are.. I always hope can go longer with u.. But.. U dont wanna make it happen.. I am controlling myself every second in front u.. I am like being with a stranger more than bf.. Have to keep n keep n keep think about ur feeling u dislike this dislike that.. Every friends outings we were like now... Out with ur friend izzit same this way! I don't believe! U don't like them bcoz of ME! ME!!!! I am the one who cause this happen! If we did not start years ago all this woudnt be this way.. U would not be this way.. U would not be this moody emo.. We might able to be happier than now as best friends.. I was wrong.. My fault to let all this happen.. I was totally wrong.. I made it this way.. No turning back.. I am sorry to u I am sorry to all my friends.. 我时常问我自己到底是不是我害了你？害你变这样.. 这些都是我的错... 对不起... 我很难过。我真的觉得很难过。It's all my fault... Being with u was happy.. But now everything's turn out the other way.. Anyone tell what can I do? E.M.O.