I dunno how😔

Future? I cant see my path clearly not in my love relationship or neither my career.. I am afraid.. I am afraid I am useless.. I am afraid being separate with u.. Although my intention was to study in kasturi but for u I can change to TARUC again.. Although dad hint me to pick kasturi coz nearer.. But in the end u tell me u wanna pick weekend as u wanna work? Meaning? What means? Means how? What should I do? I work? What if I can't carry my paper? What can I do? Work? Not working with u make me not used to it coz I always rely on u.. I dunno how... Although I say don't wanna work with u but still end up wanna work with u.. If really work n study we won't have time to see each others.. 😔😔 sigh

合

越来越感觉到

我们的距离

我们的不合

我们到底能不能迁就对方呢？

说真的我很难。

有时候我真的不懂你

也许是我没有深深地去体会你的感受

 我忽略你了。

我发现到我有问题。有时候我很想放弃。我们很难相处。我小气你也一样。所以很多时候你都觉得你是对的。我也是一样。

虽然你很好。可是。我已经知道我们如果硬不改的话我们是不会有未来的。你觉得是理所当然的事情，就是理所当然吗？可是我一点都不觉得。对人家大方一点让我觉得很开心。只要是你喜欢的东西，做了当然觉得开心。

对我好而已是不够，也要看我们到底合不合得来吧。

虽然你不想做但最后也会陪我任性。很谢谢你。说真的从来没人像你那么疼我保护我。我很开心。

所以每次都算了，最后还是没勇气去离开。

你应该喜欢一个很在乎你的人，他的全部是你。你需要的就是这种而不是我吧。

我们到底是不是在骗自己呢？我也不懂。

红颜祸水

Was so bz recently.. Finally catching up with jimuiiiisssss n the boys... I ard knew it would happen.. I speechless ard... I don't wanna explain anything... 我越来越受不了... Haven't really be husband and wife ard this way..What a bout If I rly became ur wife? I think I might be just home everyday looking at u looking at the wall.. Only this will make u satisfy make u happy.. 24 hour around you beside u.. I know others ppl gf is like that.. But me no.. Mayb I am just not the type u want.. I cannot do what u wan.. I cannot I am sorry.. This is not me.. U dont love the real me... U just like the fakeness on me.. I can't express on twitter I can't do anything.. The more I be with u the more I see clearer what I want what myself really are.. I always hope can go longer with u.. But.. U dont wanna make it happen.. I am controlling myself every second in front u.. I am like being with a stranger more than bf.. Have to keep n keep n keep think about ur feeling u dislike this dislike that.. Every friends outings we were like now... Out with ur friend izzit same this way! I don't believe! U don't like them bcoz of ME! ME!!!! I am the one who cause this happen! If we did not start years ago all this woudnt be this way.. U would not be this way.. U would not be this moody emo.. We might able to be happier than now as best friends.. I was wrong.. My fault to let all this happen.. I was totally wrong.. I made it this way.. No turning back.. I am sorry to u I am sorry to all my friends.. 我时常问我自己到底是不是我害了你？害你变这样.. 这些都是我的错... 对不起... 我很难过。我真的觉得很难过。It's all my fault... Being with u was happy.. But now everything's turn out the other way.. Anyone tell what can I do? E.M.O.

A day..

Morning breakfast was bad.. Didn't really have it.. Feel very hungry at 11.. N have a chat with jimui tears drop again but i was very calm.. I know it i wasnt just because of angry.. They tot i was angry they persuade me not to take action without think about it.. But i ard calm myself.. I knew we wouldnt able to take it longer not once or twice problems did exist no matter now or future.. It will continue.. We might be able to go now but future.. I am sure we hardly.. I dont wan to regret in future so do u.. I dont mind getting hurt now.. What i worry is u? Beside me who do u have? Pray for u to have a real friend that beside u no matter what.. My wishes.. Hoping u to be fine now future.. U deserve somebody good to u.. It might not be me I am sure there is somebody waiting for u..:)

Lunch biscuit was the early intention but luckily the lady call me n I went and have lunch with her n sis.. The way going kl sentral took long time.. The monorail stop almost few min in a station.. I was rushing to take Ktm.. Was very frust at the time! Btw, I did forgot how was the way to Ktm.. Haha.. Luckily there is still good people in country.. I asked the guy the way to there n he was rly kind n tell me n keep look whether I follow his way n he ask me whether go lrt or bus he again told me the way.. He was rly kind.. Thanks a lot to the guy.. Lastly I did reach Ktm at time n reach Midvalley on time... Had a great lunch at Yuzu Japanese Restaurant at The Garden Mall.. It was rly nice.. I started to love Saba shioyaki in this place since the taste was awesome.. But the price was really expensive.. I had their dessert too name sweet memory.. It was nice as well... After that we went to jelly bunny.. Their shoes was nice.. Like it.. Bought one for myself.. N finally we have tea break at delifrances... Not bad as well..
Today was not consider a happy day for me although most of the things was great.. But at least I feel calm.. Just that not used to it days without u... I believe I will get used to it soon as I wasn't feel lonely being alone.. Day1..

Feelings

Am I the only one that should care for your feeling? U shouldn't ? Am I the one who have to take move Everytime? I didn't listen to u once or twice u whole days don't wanna talk to me treat me like a stranger? I am what? Why u wanna do all this to me? Sorry lo if i doing anything wrong.. But U have feelings.. I don't have meh? Why I shud be treat like this? What wrongs I have did to receive such treat from u? Why? Am I going find others ppl? Are u rly treat me as ur gf? When I treat u good everything to u den u smile to me? I didn't listen only u do this to me? If more serious what u would do to me? Ignore me at all? I can't even imagine.. U wouldn't know at that moment I just feel like crying.. Why Everytime u have to treat me in such way ? Would u feel really happy torturing me this way? Den u are success.. When writing this my tears down even more.. U are success making me heart broken.. I am really disappointed .. Every outings u will do this to me.. I rather we are friends.. At least u won't treat me this way.. Hate u but I hate myself even more.. Mayb I doesn't rly important.. Not more than ur friend... Why u must be this unfair.. I treat u how u treat me how.. Fair? U think so? Can u be gentlemen a bit and don't small gas.. I am really disappointed.. Truly.. Am I worth for u? Or do u really worth for me? I don't know... Mayb we should consider again..

His 21st Celebration!

The day started when I take train to the place and met up his friends.. Which all of us not rly know the location of the new Nadeje.. But luckily all of us found it and make the surprise success! At first we reach Nadeje around 1 and they start talk I was feel myself weird but they try to talk to me n I also try to talk to them.. After a while it was okay.. Haha.. Waited rhem for an hour.. Finally he is arriving.. I hide in the Nadeje n wait for him for at least 15min haha. My gosh.. It was rly nervous to the max and hoping he wasnt saw me and lastly he did now saw me.. Once I saw him I walk out nervously showing the card.. I couldn't saw his shock face but I can imagine It and I am success giving him the surprise! Haha.. He smile n keep smile and I know this smile shows he truly happy for it.. He didn't aspect me appearing at all neither does his friends.. His friend was rly corporate with me and nice.. It was funny at the moment we saw their car.. Omgosh.. All of us scared like crazy! Hahaa.. Gosh.. I hide downward so fast! Good experience! Haha.. After that we blow candle and the candle was blow by wind hahahah.. Funny.. And sing a soft bday song ! Haha.. my voice so loud hahaha.. N den we took pic. The pic was rly nice.. I like it so much but forgot te group pic.. Too bad..:(( Wasted.. But I believe there is more to come.. After that we went to wongkok for the giant milk tea.. And lunch since Nadeje have no food to eat.. LOL.. Bad.. But is many donuts.. Actually not rly recommended to go this Nadeje.. We went Wong kok have chit chat n lunch.. It was fun chatting with his friend although the jokes very cold.. Enjoy chat with of his primary friend hahaa.. We both look talkative until they looking at us.. It turns out good for the whole celebration! Like it and thanks a lot to his friend for making it success.. Appreciate their effort for making it successful... We went back early as some of them bz hahaha.. Lastly there are some photo of the celebration.. HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY MY MR NOOB! 😉

Birthday lololololol

Birthday coming soon hope to get the hello kitty cake coz is so adorable!!! Ofcoz it doesn't taste nice and well I don't like food that doesn't taste nice so forget about it.. Hahahaa.. Feel myself very weird sometims.. Daddy say gonna held a Party for me but I dunno want or not.. I hope to have many celebration as I love celebration.. I always plan for others.. But I don't think my friends will do so for me.. They don't even able to choose a suitable present for me.. I don't know izzit they don't understand me or just that they no heart.. Celebration? I don't think they rmb or do.. Lol.. Never think they have the heart.. So many years.. I fed up ard..
I have no best friends in my life.. They just come and gone so fast.. Luckily I have the special one. He never forget do something special for me.. Is so gooooddddd to have him in my life.. Thanks you my one and only one... Well, lastly I hope to have my wardrobe full of Zara and A/X shirt dress!!! Hahaha.. And as well as a iPad mini for me.. Ermmm.. Summore Swarovski crystal is so nice.. I saw the name made special necklace and bracelet order online so nice.. Price was not cheap.. So don't think wanna buy it.. The gold color was so nice.. Like the bracelet so much also.. Not to forget Dior, anna sui favourite fragrance.. Omg! Present demand for this year.. Hehehehe.. Omgosh.. *pray hard* last but not least I hope to get something special and I things that I would fall in love once I saw.. :DDDDDD